My greatest fear is that I will forget where I came from. My heart and my God desires me to help people see they are beautiful Daughters of Christ regardless of where they have been in their lives. Growing up I did not care about my appearance, and cared less about dressing like a girl. Throughout my school days I wore baggy clothes, and felt comfy. However, I did not have many friends and I didnt know how to be feminine. I wished I had knew of people who I could look up to. In todays world there are some woman young girls can look up to. They include; The Virgin Mary, Leah Darrow, Crystallina Evert, The Dominican Sisters Mary Mother of the Eucharist, many other religious sisters, and other woman on EWTN. Growing up I wish I reached out to someone who saw me as a Daughter of Christ. Because of me not reaching out I feel into the selfishness of the world and gave into disordered relationships. As I am healing my heart and not giving in to Christ I wonder if I will forget what I felt like to be broken.
As I have been praying and talking with others the Lord reminded me he will bring up my story when it is his will. He will have me use my story in his way and not mine. He will help me see my beauty, give my heart confidence in him, and help me to preach he is the one to follow. The Lord doesnt want me to forget where I came from but he wants me to be deep in him for when my story is brought up I can feel the emotions and not punish myself for my past. He has told me not to punish myself for my past does not define me but will be used to help others see what is good, pleasing and perfect.
Others may feel the same as I did; lost confused, perhaps friendless. We, as woman need to preach, live out, and desire to be better woman to help those who has lost their femininity. I will continue to grow into my femininity. I may not desire to wear a dress or a skirt constantly, but desire to be who Christ desires me to be. A person who loves Christ, others, and herself.
As St. Augustine says "There is no saint without a past, and no sinner without a future"!!
I am a modern day female version of St Augustine to a point!!! :)